A furious Jimmy Kimmel slams the new GOP health bill in a monologue everyone should watch.

Sen. Bill Cassidy has failed the “Jimmy Kimmel Test.”

Spectacularly so.

In a blistering monologue delivered Tuesday night, late-night host Kimmel accused the Louisiana Republican of coming on his show and lying “right to my face” about health care.

At issue: the latest Republican attempt to “repeal and replace” the Affordable Care Act, with a bill co-sponsored by Cassidy. This bill comes just a few months after Cassidy appeared on Kimmel’s show in the wake of Kimmel’s newborn son’s open-heart surgery and his heart-wrenching monologue about the importance of health insurance.

“A few months ago, after my son had open-heart surgery, which was something I spoke about on the air, a politician, a senator named Bill Cassidy from Louisiana, was on my show, and he wasn’t very honest. It seemed like he was being honest. He got a lot of credit and attention for coming off like a rare, reasonable voice in the Republican Party when it came to health care for coming up with something he called — and I didn’t name it this, he named it this — the ‘Jimmy Kimmel Test,’ which was, in a nutshell, no family should be denied medical care, emergency or otherwise, because they can’t afford it.

Kimmel argued that instead of passing Cassidy’s Jimmy Kimmel Test, the new bill cruelly rips away many of the protections Cassidy promised to uphold.

“Now, I don’t know what happened to Bill Cassidy. But when he was on this publicity tour, he listed his demands for a health care bill very clearly. These were his words. He said he wants coverage for all, no discrimination based on pre-existing conditions, lower premiums for middle-class families, and no lifetime caps. And guess what? The new bill does none of those things.

Coverage for all? No. In fact, it will kick about 30 million Americans off insurance. Pre-existing conditions? Nope. If the bill passes, individual states can let insurance companies charge you more if you have a pre-existing condition. You’ll find that little loophole later in the document after it says they can’t. They can, and they will.

But will it lower premiums? Well, in fact, for lots of people, the bill will result in higher premiums. And as far as no lifetime caps go, the states can decide on that, too, which means there will be lifetime caps in many states. So not only did Bill Cassidy fail the Jimmy Kimmel Test, he failed the Bill Cassidy Test. He failed his own test. And you don’t see that happen very much.”

The proposed law, as drawn up by Cassidy and three other GOP senators, would indeed drastically weaken many of the Affordable Care Act’s consumer guarantees, much as Kimmel described it.

According to an NPR analysis of the bill, states could indeed waive the Affordable Care Act’s essential benefits requirement and allow insurers to charge customers with pre-existing conditions more or reject them outright.

Additionally, states could permit insurers to reinstitute lifetime coverage caps, limiting the amount they pay out over a customer’s lifetime.

Cassidy responded to Kimmel shortly after the segment aired, disputing the host’s characterization of the bill and encouraging his colleagues to vote for it.  

Senators and bill co-sponsors Dean Heller (left) and Cassidy. Photo by Aaron P. Bernstein/Getty Images.

“We have a September 30th deadline on our promise. Let’s finish the job,” he said in a statement provided to Vox. “We must because there is a mother and father whose child will have insurance because of Graham Cassidy Heller Johnson. There is someone whose pre-existing condition will be addressed because of GCHJ.”

It is difficult to imagine that will be enough for Kimmel, who concluded by pleading with his audience at home to “call [their] congressperson.”

“You have to do this. You can’t just click ‘like’ on this video,” he said.

The future of health care in America could hang in the balance.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/a-furious-jimmy-kimmel-slams-the-new-gop-health-bill-in-a-monologue-everyone-should-watch

The Shirk Report Volume 438

 

Welcome to the Shirk Report where you will find 20 funny images, 10 interesting articles and 5 entertaining videos from the last 7 days of sifting. Most images found on Reddit; articles from Facebook, Twitter, and email; videos come from everywhere. Any suggestions? Send a note to submit@twistedsifter.com

20 IMAGES

Friday!
Best serve ever
Best review ever
This would have been so confusing
And we are all better for it
Here’s a neat party trick
Now strut
This week, on the real story behind the meme
Shout out to the people (e.g., me) that were right all these years!
Responsibilities: “hey” | Me:
WANT
Day 17: Cat still has no idea what to make of this print
Our 24 Hour Guarantee
I like that he still made a minimal splash
I like how the line judge seems to point to his groinal region immediately afterwards
And now for a pep talk from Coach K
– And now it’s time to imagine objects doing human things: Celebrating | A sit-up
The way this cat sits
When you have no idea how automatic sliding doors work | His wife
Until next week

10 ARTICLES

This Tiny Country Feeds the World
This interactive website gives you a live look at wind, rain and temperatures around the world (thx for sharing Mario!)
How Strava Became the Only Fitness App That Matters
Attacked by Rotten Tomatoes
Inside the black market where people pay thousands of dollars for Instagram verification
The Hidden Memories of Plants
Married to a Mystery Man
Yes, Google Uses Its Power to Quash Ideas It Doesn’t Like—I Know Because It Happened to Me
Harvey and Irma, Married 75 Years, Marvel at the Storms Bearing Their Names
The Blind Traveler: How James Holman Felt His Way Around the World to Become History’s Most Prolific Explorer (thx for sharing Mr. Montgomery!

5 VIDEOS + the best weatherman

HERE’S TO MONEY WELL SPENT THIS WEEKEND

Read more: http://twistedsifter.com/2017/09/the-shirk-report-volume-438/

The Shirk Report Volume 439

 

Welcome to the Shirk Report where you will find 20 funny images, 10 interesting articles and 5 entertaining videos from the last 7 days of sifting. Most images found on Reddit; articles from Facebook, Twitter, and email; videos come from everywhere. Any suggestions? Send a note to submit@twistedsifter.com

20 IMAGES

Friday!
My weekend plans
This is what we call a veteran move
The key is to keep the song playing in your head
Hi Haters. Bye Haters
This beer label
Serendipity
Obi on his off days
omg those legs | omg those abs!
Perfect
Penny for your thoughts
Oh deer
When you click a link even though you’ve been warned not to
When your friend says ‘look at this’ and you know it’s going to be gross and you do it anyway
More like every generation ever
A little early Halloween inspiration for lazy people
Lovers in a dangerous time
Gotta hand it to him
To the victor go the spoils
Until next week

10 ARTICLES

How to steer a spacecraft into Saturn
Haunting Relics of a Country That No Longer Exists
The Case Against Civilization
Gregory Berns Knows What Your Dog Is Thinking (It’s Sweet)
Photos From Burning Man 2017
How All 32 NFL Teams Got Their Names
America’s Latest Utopian Experiment
Movies, patriotism, and cultural amnesia: tracing pop culture’s relationship to 9/11
Does Blotting Pizza With a Napkin Really Do Anything?
The Drone King: A newly discovered short story by Kurt Vonnegut

5 VIDEOS

EAR’S TO THE WEEKEND

Read more: http://twistedsifter.com/2017/09/the-shirk-report-volume-439/

He May Have Cancer, But That Didn’t Stop Him From Proposing To His Kids’ Mother

Back in June, father-of-three Jason Bragg from Cornwall, England, received devastating news about his health.

He was diagnosed with cancer of the bowel, liver, lymph nodes, and peritoneum about a month before his twins, Oscar and George, turned a year old. His daughter also just celebrated her fifth birthday. While the 27-year-old’s loved ones are hopeful that chemotherapy and other treatments will help him beat his cancer, there are obviously no guarantees.

That’s why he decided to ask his girlfriend and the mother of his twins, Lizzie Holt, a very important question.

After learning about his diagnosis, Bragg’s friends and family set up a fundraising dinner to help him out financially. But Holt didn’t realize that Bragg would be getting down on his knee…

Watch the heartwarming moment Bragg proposes to Holt in front of all their loved ones. I’m so happy for them!

Read more: http://www.viralnova.com/proposal-after-cancer-diagnosis/

The Best ‘Bachelor In Paradise’ Finale Recap You’ll Ever Read: The Last Day Of Amanda’s Childless Vacation

Well fam, we did it. We made it to the finale of and all it took was one sex ed class from Chris Harrison, a crudely mishandled sexual assault allegation, the downfall of Dean, and more scallop jokes than were really necessary. BUT WE FUCKING DID IT. I feel like I’ve aged 20 years in the process and my liver has definitely taken a hit here, but I guess I’ll do anything for cause to watch reality TV rejects fornicate on a Mexican beach, even if it jeopardizes my health and wellness. It’s important to know yourself.

Side note: I have now convinced my roommate—and her German friends from out of town staying with us this week—to watch this show. I’m really making strides with US-German relations here. Just call me a fucking ambassador.

Anyway, the episode starts with Chris Harrison emulating my mother when she inquires about my love life at massive family gatherings asking the remaining cast members to define their relationships. He’s really taking his responsibility as host to the next fucking level.

^^Actual footage of Chris Harrison in Paradise rn

Dean looks legitimately terrified at the thought of marriage even though barely three months ago he was going to PROPOSE to Rachel. Whatever.

Lol I love how Chris just dips after dropping this truth bomb. Like, if you want to stay in Mexico and have semi-decent accommodations with free WiFi and actual walls for your room then you’ll need to 100 percent commit to this person you’ve been dry-humping all summer. Can’t wait to watch these people implode under that kind of pressure.

So let me get this straight. Basically their choices are: go on a date to figure out what they are, leave as a couple, or get engaged? That’s what you’re telling me rn? ABC, have you SEEN the men you forced these dime pieces to socialize with? Have you?!

Jesus Christ. I rest my fucking case.

Lacey is the first one on the chopping block to be vulnerable. She asks Daniel if he’ll go on this date with her so they can continue to see where this blight upon humanity relationship goes. I’m watching this whole interaction and all I can think is, Daniel has all the makings of someone that should be attractive but yet instead makes me want to rip my fingernails off and claw my eyes out with the bloody stumps. Ya know?

LACEY: I’m really, really, REALLY desperate enjoying my time with you. Will you go on this date with me?

DANIEL: I’m not done with you yet. You still haven’t seen the fireworks in my pants.

ME: 

Jack Stone goes next. He pulls Christen aside and asks her to be his girlfriend because apparently this is the eighth fucking grade. Seriously though, am I watching or an episode of ? It’s honestly hard to tell.

JACK STONE: I want to leave Mexico holding hands with you.

CHRISTEN: lol

Wow this conversation is not going well at all. Jack Stone keeps bringing up the hand holding thing and Christen looks genuinely alarmed that he thinks he can even breathe the same air as her once they get back to the States.

“Does he think we have a love story?” — Christen for the fucking win right here.

*slow claps* That’s it, I’m team #ScallopFingers forever. Honestly, I’ve never been more proud of a virgin who can’t drive.

My German friend after sitting through barely 15 minutes of this show: I thought there’d be more nudity.

Honestly, you’re not wrong. Same.

Adam and Raven decide to also go on the date. Adam looks shook that anyone would want to sleep with him. Aw, Adam, give yourself some more credit! All Raven’s got to compare you to is Nick!

It’s Dean and D-Lo’s turn to DTR and I don’t know if emotionally I can handle watching these two life ruiners ride off into the fucking sunset for a happy ending. I just don’t know if I can stomach it—WAIT. Did he just dump D-Lo?? FOR KRISTINA?? 

I. AM. SHOOK.

Dean keeps talking about how he fucked up and he misses Kristina and all I can think is:

Side note: Does Danielle L have butterflies tattooed on her the backs of her ankles? She does, right? And it’s all starting to make sense now.

Last but certainly least, we have Amanda and Robby, a couple I do not give one single shit about. They have their talk and Amanda completely breaks down at the thought of having to spend the rest of her life with Robby and his Instagram followers. And, like, same girl. That sounds terrifying.

ROBBY: I just don’t understand. Why would you do this?

AMANDA: Honestly, this was just a paid vacation away from my kids. Don’t push it.

THE FANTASY SUITE DATE

The three remaining couples sit down with Chris Harrison and are told that this isn’t just any date they’ll be going on, but a fantasy suite date. So no more dressing in drag or hot tamale eating contests, the cast members will actually have to, like, connect with one another tonight. Wow. This show is wild.

Everyone pretends to be shocked by this news but, like, let’s not pretend that y’all haven’t been screwing on sand dunes all summer long. Please.

Lacey professes her love for Daniel and he’s like, “yes let’s make this Facebook official.” And they say romance is dead. Tbh this is the first time I haven’t been completely disturbed by Daniel’s presence. You’ve really changed him, Lacey.

Next we get to see Derek and Taylor’s date even though I completely forgot that these two were on the show. They’re really making lasting impressions here. Taylor says something about needing to emotionally and spiritually connect with Derek bang him before they can pursue something more serious.

GERMAN FRIEND: Did I get the language right? Did she just say if the sex is good they can officially date?

Yes, yes you did.

Adam and Raven have their date and Adam pops the fantasy suite question. You can literally see Nick and his sexless turtleneck flash before Raven’s eyes. She’s v nervous about saying yes to the fantasy suite because she can’t fake an orgasm be vulnerable one more time.

AFTER THE FINAL TEQUILA SHOT ROSE

Okay this segue from Raven and Adam’s date to the tell-all portion is really throwing me off. I’m feeling v confused rn. Did  Raven sleep with Adam? Why is this a cliff hanger? Who is responsible for cutting the footage of this episode?? ANSWER ME, ABC.

Of course the sexual assault scandal is STILL being talked about. Like we get it, ABC. You don’t want us to morally blame you for ruining two people’s lives for TV ratings. Your message is loud and clear.

Chris brings out DeMario and Corinne for the world’s most awkward reunion.

CHRIS HARRISON: So where do you go from here?

DEMARIO: Well I’m going to therapy.

CORINNE: I am also in therapy.

Thanks, ABC! I feel SO much better about these two now!! It’s good to know they’re doing so well!

Tbh I could give a shit about the rest of these losers but this whole Kristina-Dean-DLo thing?

They put Dean in the “hot seat” and he looks low-key terrified. Like he knows that every woman in the audience wants to castrate him rn. Side note: can Chris Harrison put other people’s exes in the hot seat? Asking for a friend…

They show the whole Kristina-Dean-DLo love triangle footage and it’s still super hard to watch. Hard to watch in the sense that if I continue to watching it I cannot be held responsible for my actions. Just saying.

DEAN: *sobs watching the montage*

GERMAN FRIEND: He is an actor, yes?

YES.

Kristina keeps talking about how she will always love Dean and blah, blah, blah. She will 100 percent still bang him after this.

Dean gives a very heartfelt speech about how he still loves Kristina. He’s tearing up, I’m tearing up. The more wine I chug, the more I’m willing to forgive Dean and give him another chance. Kristina is one lucky bitch. Dean is reformed. Dean is beautiful. Dean is perfect, no man will ever measure up to how amazingly Dean has proven himself toda—WAIT. Danielle L says the FIRST interesting thing she has ever said on this show when she calls out Dean for calling her an hour after leaving the show. One. Fucking. Hour. AND HE’S STILL TRYING TO GET WITH KRISTINA. 

That’s it. You’re done. Cancelled. See you in hell, Deanie Babies.

And because ABC likes to waste my time, they also bring out Robby and Amanda. They were supposedly dating outside of the show for Instagram likes but broke up because they “wanted different things.” Like, Robby wanted to respond to thots’ comments on Instagram and Amanda wanted to have a father figure free babysitter for her kids. 

Meanwhile Satan’s spawn the twins are desperately trying to stay relevant by butting in every three fucking seconds into Amanda’s breakup story. Robby apparently cheated on Amanda after the show and we know this because the twins kept the receipts and are ready to blow up his spot on national television. The twins are like that friend who will key your ex’s car even though you’re the one that got cheated on, not them.

Wait. The twins are me. I am the twins.

Now we get to move on to the actual couples. Daniel and Lacey did not make it past the fantasy suites. Apparently Daniel couldn’t pretend to like Lacey for more than five seconds after hooking up. In other news, the sky is blue.

CHRIS HARRISON: Why would you say you loved Lacey if you didn’t mean it?

DANIEL: *looks at Lacey* I said I loved you? When?

And just like that, I’m repulsed again. Goddamnit, Daniel.

So I guess Raven and Adam slept together? She looks like she actually had an orgasm too. Good for you, girl. I guess all it takes to find true love is a boob job an open mind and an open heart. 

Derek and Taylor prove that they are the strongest couple on this show. Derek. And Taylor. Let that sink in for a minute, k?

Whatever. I guess Derek has a big enough dick connected with her on a deeper level in that fantasy suite because they’re still in love and making it work long distance.

Taylor keeps talking about how “naked” and “vulnerable” Derek was that night and I 100 percent believe Taylor has a crying fetish. She clearly gets off on the tears of her lovers. Don’t try and tell me different.

The season ends with Derek proposing to Taylor. It’s all very staged sweet but honestly all I can think is “I really hope a twin comes out and says she slept with him.” Where’s a twin when you need one.

 
 

Read more: http://www.betches.com/bachelor-in-paradise-season-4-finale-recap

Trump Looked Directly At The Sun During The Solar Eclipse And Now Twitter Is Dead

President Donald Trump looked at the sun during the solar eclipse on Monday, Aug. 21, because of course he did. This is a man who’s said climate change was a hoax created by the Chinese. You think he fully listened to the warnings from experts about the damage staring at the sun could do to your eyes? No way. That’s not how Trump rolls he lives on the edge. There are a lot of tweets about Trump looking at the sun during the eclipse and the image seems to be the internet’s favorite new thing. Staring at the sun during a solar eclipse can do serious, permanent damage to your eye. There were numerous warnings it’s the last thing anyone should do during the eclipse. Trump, however, apparently didn’t feel the need to exhibit caution as he enjoyed the eclipse alongside his wife and son. The president was apparently wearing protective glasses at first, but ultimately decided to take them off, according to footage from NBC News. This was not a very intelligent decision. With that said, you can hardly blame people on social media for how they reacted.

Twitter is absolutely obsessed with this image of Trump looking at the sun during the eclipse.

Some are cutting the president some slack, given they looked at the sun without the proper protective glasses as well.

But just so we are clear on this, looking directly at the sun is never good for your health. This is not FAKE NEWS nor is it a hoax created by the Chinese or any of America’s other geopolitical foes. With that said, if you took a quick peek at the solar eclipse today, don’t beat yourself up. You probably did not go blind. Also, the president did it so you have a good excuse (but the president is also currently Donald Trump, so yeah).

Read more: http://elitedaily.com/news/politics/trump-looked-directly-sun-solar-eclipse-now-twitter-dead/2050266/

Equifax breach proves we cant leave it up to businesses to protect us

Equifax gets a cyber security score of zero.
Image: RHONA WISE/EPA-EFE/REX/Shutterstock

The Equifax data breach disaster is the last straw.

This can’t go on. 

We can’t let companies flout cyber security best practices and common sense, and we can no longer rely on Social Security numbers as a secure and discrete form of identification. Equifax hasn’t shared its own cybersecurity practices, but it’s fair to say even if they were indeed subpar, it’ll likely survive this storm longterm, even while victims suffer.

It’s time for some changes.

Equifax, a company best known for helping us check our credit scores and protecting consumers from identity theft(!) announced Thursday that it suffered a massive hack impacting 143 million Americans, that’s 44% of the population. The monumental security breach exposed millions and millions of personal data bits to hackers.

I would laugh if it weren’t so horrifying.

Equifax learned of the breach, which apparently came through its website (which is not nearly enough information about the cause), in late July, two months after it started. The company promises that the hackers did not access “core consumer or commercial credit reporting databases,” but they got everything that matters: Social Security numbers, birth dates, addresses and driver’s license numbers.

Holy hell.

There is, it seems, no end to these kinds of breaches. Hackers see every company as a target, and they’ve been wildly successful with Yahoo, Target, Sony, the Democratic National Committee, Verizon, HBO, Ashley Madison, and many others. 

Each time, the company (or group) apologizes, promises to fix it, protect their customers and do better. 

“This is clearly a disappointing event for our company, and one that strikes at the heart of who we are and what we do. I apologize to consumers and our business customers for the concern and frustration this causes,” said Chairman and Chief Executive Officer, Richard F. Smith in a statement.

Hahahahahahaha!

Disappointing? The heart of who you are? You’re a freaking identity protection company. Through your credit check business, you have access to much of our most precious financial information and then you ask us to pay more for identity protection. This event should destroy your business. It won’t, but it should.

You know why it won’t? Because these breaches haven’t shut down any of these businesses. Some face civil litigation and pay, some just endure a lot of public shaming. 

None of them face criminal prosecution. 

No one learns anything, certainly not the next company that will be hit. They just look on and breathe a sigh of relief that it’s not them.

Some new rules

Nothing will change here until we have national standards for data security and strong penalties for not applying the necessary technologies, checks, and balances.

Currently in the U.S., only a handful of industries, have federal, mandatory cyber security regulations. These include the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) for healthcare and the 2002 Homeland Security Act, which was enacted in the wake of the 9/11 attacks, for the federal government. Even in finance, which has other strict federal mandates for financial disclosures and internal controls, legislators struggle to implement sweeping cybersecurity rules.

Truth in financial reporting seems like a worthy goal, no less so than safety in data security. And yet there is virtually nothing to encourage general business to clean up its cybersecurity act. By comparison, the Sarbanes-Oxley Act, which brought sweeping financial management and corporate governance regulation to U.S. businesses in 2002, put in place hefty fines and prison terms for those who don’t follow it. Put simply, Sarbanes-Oxley mandates that company management must certify the accuracy of all financial statements and enact expensive internal controls. 

One reason for the lack of cybersecurity rules is that data security and best practices in business is an intricate web of legacy hardware and software, byzantine practices, and bottom line concerns. 

Companies running old operating systems have long been prime hack targets. Most of them continue running old software because 1) it costs money to upgrade and 2) the vertical industries they serve use old legacy software that doesn’t run on the newest platform or hardware.

It’s not just the software, though. Companies like Equifax, Yahoo, the Democratic National Committee, and others don’t follow best practices when it comes to cyber security. They don’t protect or back up their databases off site, they don’t train their employees to not open unknown emails, click on random links, or how to identify a social engineering attack. 

Cyber-security regulations with the same power as Sarbanes-Oxley and penalties would change that. It would stop companies from sitting back and hoping they can dodge the bullet much like young people avoid the doctor because they believe they can never get sick. 

In 2016, 28 states either had or were considering cyber security legislation, but most of it only considers state-controlled systems and services and doesn’t look at the businesses that manage consumer data.

If you think the idea of force-feeding cyber security to business is draconian, look at Microsoft Windows 10. This platform no longer asks you if it can upgrade, it only allows you to specify when. Why? So, home users can have the most up-to-date and secure systems. Microsoft doesn’t even leave cyber security in the hands of third-party companies any more (you can still buy it if you want). Instead, there’s Windows Defender. It’s free, always up-to-date and running 24/7 on Windows 10 PC.

Ideal legislation to regulate cybersecurity would create the foundation for rating agencies to keep track of companies’ cybersecurity prowess. So Equifax would get an Equifax. The quality of a company’s cyber security across a wide variety of metrics (up to date systems, encrypted data, company wide training) would result in a score, much like one’s credit score; 1 would be the worst and 5 would be the best. Simple.

If I were writing this legislation, I would also tie it to the winding down of the Social Security number as an identity tool. Numbers are flat, discoverable things and the fact that we use a combination of nine digits as the skeleton key for life stuff should be a grave concern to everyone.

We have options. Biometric security is growing by leaps and bounds. Facial recognition on the level I have with Windows Hello can’t be fooled with a picture or someone who looks almost just like me. Iris scanning is even more foolproof and now on smartphones like the Samsung Galaxy S8 and Note 8. We have heartbeat sensors that might eventually be used to recognize the unique rhythm of each heart. 

A new Cyber Security Act, with some real regulatory teeth (read penalties) could set a timeline for retiring Social Security numbers, giving businesses and people five years to change systems and upgrade to biometrics.

Leaving these things to chance and the whims of business, which care more about money than they do about you, is no longer sustainable. 

This must end.

Read more: http://mashable.com/2017/09/08/equifax-hack-cyber-security-regulation/